My new addiction? www.mylifeisaverage.com
Let me share a few of my favorite posts:

Today, my mom called me a "son of a bitch". I laughed at the irony. She didn't get it. MLIA

Today I found my ipod, put my earbuds in, and sat down to do my homework. Two hours later, I finished and took my earbuds out. I then realized I had never turned my ipod on. MLIA

Today, I realized the word bed actually looks like a bed. MLIA

Today, my 14 year old brother asked me if I would give him a bottle of vodka for his sleepover. I did. When I came home the bottle was empty and they were all extremely drunk. I still haven't decided whether or not I should tell him it was soda water. MLIA

Today, I got pulled over on my way home by a cop. He asked me if I knew why he pulled me over, and I responded, "Because you want to invite me to the Police Officer's Ball?" He then replied, "No ma'am, police officers don't have balls". MLIA

Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold. MLIA

Today, my boss passed me in the hall at work and asked me "Do you have a sec?". I was trying to be flippant and replied "I have tons of secs". We both pretended I didn't say that. MLIA.

Today, I filled a Windex bottle with blue Gatorade. I then sprayed it into my mouth infront of my mother. She began to panic and scream and get hysterical. I thought it was funny. She didn't. MLIA

Today, I was drifting off to sleep in bed with my boyfriend. There was a really annoying fruit fly buzzing around our heads and instinctivly we both reached up and slapped it at the same time. Not only did we kill the fly, but we did it with a high-five. MLIA.

Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it. MLIA

Today, I watched a really scary movie before going to bed. When it was done, I went upstairs and ran down the hallway as fast as I could before any monsters could kill me. I made it to my room safely. MLIA.

Today, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Then I considered that 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream. MLIA

Today, after waiting for months, I went to an orphanage to adopt a child. The first child I was introduced to was in a full batman costume. We had an in-depth conversation about Gothams crime status, and his recent encounters with the joker. Guess who i'm bringing home? MLIA

Today in spanish we were having a fairly large unit test. As I was taking it, I forgot how to say "wake up" and so I put my head down pretending to fall asleep. Sure enough my teacher yelled at me saying "Despierta!". Booyah. MLIA.

Yesterday, we were playing dodgeball in PE. One of the rules is if you hit someone in the face, they stay in and you're out. Since I'm no good at throwing, I was running around putting my face where the balls would hit it. My team won. MLIA

Today, my know-it-all university professor said, "Was is always a verb". I then raised my hand and said, "It's a noun in that sentence...". Never before have I felt so cool. MLIA

Today, I saw a man carrying a burlap sack over his shoulder with his young son's head sticking out. I was unsure how I felt about.Then the kid noticed me starring and chirped happily "I'm a potato!" MLIA

Today, I was fixing my dad's iTunes because he doesn't really know how to use it. I found a song that he titled "more roars". Curious, I clicked on it, and I realized it was a recording of him roaring like a dinosaur. MLIA

Today, in english class, we were talking about life changing experiences. Most of us talked about a death, or one of their family members getting married. But one kid stood up and started off, "Well, I was born and raised in West Philadelphia. I spent most of my days on the playground." He then proceeded to tell the whole lyrics of the theme song to Fresh Prince of Bell Air in conversational english. No one got it but me. MLIA.

Today I was eating an ice cream cone in one hand and texting with the other. Thinking I was cool for multitasking, as I walked down a flight a stairs on campus, I licked my phone. MLIA

Today I went to take a shower and in the middle of my shower something felt weird under my feet. I looked down to find I was still wearing my socks. MLIA

Today my boyfriend was running late leaving the house, as he was putting on his shoes by the door I jokingly said "You need to hurry up, my other boyfriend will be here any minute!" He opened the door and almost ran into the UPS man who must have over heard me because he immediately quipped "Honey, I'm home." The look on my boyfriend's face...priceless. MLIA