I have been a non-smoker for 11 months today.
And I hit my targets at work. GETTING A BONUS THIS MONTH! WOOHOOOO!
I have the most amazing family and friends in my life. God, I couldn't be happier.
I'm going to be an aunt in the spring!!
The air in my lungs, a beautiful home, and a really amazing life.
*does a happy dance*
11/30/2009
11/24/2009
11/18/2009
My new addiction? www.mylifeisaverage.com
Let me share a few of my favorite posts:
Today, my mom called me a "son of a bitch". I laughed at the irony. She didn't get it. MLIA
Today I found my ipod, put my earbuds in, and sat down to do my homework. Two hours later, I finished and took my earbuds out. I then realized I had never turned my ipod on. MLIA
Today, I realized the word bed actually looks like a bed. MLIA
Today, my 14 year old brother asked me if I would give him a bottle of vodka for his sleepover. I did. When I came home the bottle was empty and they were all extremely drunk. I still haven't decided whether or not I should tell him it was soda water. MLIA
Today, I got pulled over on my way home by a cop. He asked me if I knew why he pulled me over, and I responded, "Because you want to invite me to the Police Officer's Ball?" He then replied, "No ma'am, police officers don't have balls". MLIA
Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold. MLIA
Today, my boss passed me in the hall at work and asked me "Do you have a sec?". I was trying to be flippant and replied "I have tons of secs". We both pretended I didn't say that. MLIA.
Today, I filled a Windex bottle with blue Gatorade. I then sprayed it into my mouth infront of my mother. She began to panic and scream and get hysterical. I thought it was funny. She didn't. MLIA
Today, I was drifting off to sleep in bed with my boyfriend. There was a really annoying fruit fly buzzing around our heads and instinctivly we both reached up and slapped it at the same time. Not only did we kill the fly, but we did it with a high-five. MLIA.
Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it. MLIA
Today, I watched a really scary movie before going to bed. When it was done, I went upstairs and ran down the hallway as fast as I could before any monsters could kill me. I made it to my room safely. MLIA.
Today, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Then I considered that 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream. MLIA
Today, after waiting for months, I went to an orphanage to adopt a child. The first child I was introduced to was in a full batman costume. We had an in-depth conversation about Gothams crime status, and his recent encounters with the joker. Guess who i'm bringing home? MLIA
Today in spanish we were having a fairly large unit test. As I was taking it, I forgot how to say "wake up" and so I put my head down pretending to fall asleep. Sure enough my teacher yelled at me saying "Despierta!". Booyah. MLIA.
Yesterday, we were playing dodgeball in PE. One of the rules is if you hit someone in the face, they stay in and you're out. Since I'm no good at throwing, I was running around putting my face where the balls would hit it. My team won. MLIA
Today, my know-it-all university professor said, "Was is always a verb". I then raised my hand and said, "It's a noun in that sentence...". Never before have I felt so cool. MLIA
Today, I saw a man carrying a burlap sack over his shoulder with his young son's head sticking out. I was unsure how I felt about.Then the kid noticed me starring and chirped happily "I'm a potato!" MLIA
Today, I was fixing my dad's iTunes because he doesn't really know how to use it. I found a song that he titled "more roars". Curious, I clicked on it, and I realized it was a recording of him roaring like a dinosaur. MLIA
Today, in english class, we were talking about life changing experiences. Most of us talked about a death, or one of their family members getting married. But one kid stood up and started off, "Well, I was born and raised in West Philadelphia. I spent most of my days on the playground." He then proceeded to tell the whole lyrics of the theme song to Fresh Prince of Bell Air in conversational english. No one got it but me. MLIA.
Today I was eating an ice cream cone in one hand and texting with the other. Thinking I was cool for multitasking, as I walked down a flight a stairs on campus, I licked my phone. MLIA
Today I went to take a shower and in the middle of my shower something felt weird under my feet. I looked down to find I was still wearing my socks. MLIA
Today my boyfriend was running late leaving the house, as he was putting on his shoes by the door I jokingly said "You need to hurry up, my other boyfriend will be here any minute!" He opened the door and almost ran into the UPS man who must have over heard me because he immediately quipped "Honey, I'm home." The look on my boyfriend's face...priceless. MLIA
Let me share a few of my favorite posts:
Today, my mom called me a "son of a bitch". I laughed at the irony. She didn't get it. MLIA
Today I found my ipod, put my earbuds in, and sat down to do my homework. Two hours later, I finished and took my earbuds out. I then realized I had never turned my ipod on. MLIA
Today, I realized the word bed actually looks like a bed. MLIA
Today, my 14 year old brother asked me if I would give him a bottle of vodka for his sleepover. I did. When I came home the bottle was empty and they were all extremely drunk. I still haven't decided whether or not I should tell him it was soda water. MLIA
Today, I got pulled over on my way home by a cop. He asked me if I knew why he pulled me over, and I responded, "Because you want to invite me to the Police Officer's Ball?" He then replied, "No ma'am, police officers don't have balls". MLIA
Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold. MLIA
Today, my boss passed me in the hall at work and asked me "Do you have a sec?". I was trying to be flippant and replied "I have tons of secs". We both pretended I didn't say that. MLIA.
Today, I filled a Windex bottle with blue Gatorade. I then sprayed it into my mouth infront of my mother. She began to panic and scream and get hysterical. I thought it was funny. She didn't. MLIA
Today, I was drifting off to sleep in bed with my boyfriend. There was a really annoying fruit fly buzzing around our heads and instinctivly we both reached up and slapped it at the same time. Not only did we kill the fly, but we did it with a high-five. MLIA.
Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it. MLIA
Today, I watched a really scary movie before going to bed. When it was done, I went upstairs and ran down the hallway as fast as I could before any monsters could kill me. I made it to my room safely. MLIA.
Today, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Then I considered that 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream. MLIA
Today, after waiting for months, I went to an orphanage to adopt a child. The first child I was introduced to was in a full batman costume. We had an in-depth conversation about Gothams crime status, and his recent encounters with the joker. Guess who i'm bringing home? MLIA
Today in spanish we were having a fairly large unit test. As I was taking it, I forgot how to say "wake up" and so I put my head down pretending to fall asleep. Sure enough my teacher yelled at me saying "Despierta!". Booyah. MLIA.
Yesterday, we were playing dodgeball in PE. One of the rules is if you hit someone in the face, they stay in and you're out. Since I'm no good at throwing, I was running around putting my face where the balls would hit it. My team won. MLIA
Today, my know-it-all university professor said, "Was is always a verb". I then raised my hand and said, "It's a noun in that sentence...". Never before have I felt so cool. MLIA
Today, I saw a man carrying a burlap sack over his shoulder with his young son's head sticking out. I was unsure how I felt about.Then the kid noticed me starring and chirped happily "I'm a potato!" MLIA
Today, I was fixing my dad's iTunes because he doesn't really know how to use it. I found a song that he titled "more roars". Curious, I clicked on it, and I realized it was a recording of him roaring like a dinosaur. MLIA
Today, in english class, we were talking about life changing experiences. Most of us talked about a death, or one of their family members getting married. But one kid stood up and started off, "Well, I was born and raised in West Philadelphia. I spent most of my days on the playground." He then proceeded to tell the whole lyrics of the theme song to Fresh Prince of Bell Air in conversational english. No one got it but me. MLIA.
Today I was eating an ice cream cone in one hand and texting with the other. Thinking I was cool for multitasking, as I walked down a flight a stairs on campus, I licked my phone. MLIA
Today I went to take a shower and in the middle of my shower something felt weird under my feet. I looked down to find I was still wearing my socks. MLIA
Today my boyfriend was running late leaving the house, as he was putting on his shoes by the door I jokingly said "You need to hurry up, my other boyfriend will be here any minute!" He opened the door and almost ran into the UPS man who must have over heard me because he immediately quipped "Honey, I'm home." The look on my boyfriend's face...priceless. MLIA
11/05/2009
11/04/2009
soul searching.
Ive been looking at this blank page for a while. I have so many thoughts lately it's hard to put them down in one quaint little message. It's hard to sort all the confusing twists and turns of your mind to make sense. If I could organize my thoughts and words so perfectly, maybe I wouldn't need to soul search.
Over the past couple of days, I have been thinking a lot about the places in my life I have been, the things Ive experienced, and where I will be 5, 10, 30 years down the road. I don't mean just little thought bubbles, I mean it's on my mind, all the time. When I'm at work, when I'm in the shower, when I'm trying to fall asleep at night..god, even when I'm watching TV.
I desperately need to make sense of these thoughts, so I can get a little sleep at night.
Where I have been:
When I think of my past, I mainly think of the people who I used to be so close with who have since moved away and I haven't spoken with in months. I miss a few certain people a lot. People who used to be a part of my life every single day are suddenly gone - mainly because I moved out of Halifax. All of James' best friends live here, but I often feel I have nobody. I know that I do have great friends, AMAZING friends.. but they're there, and I'm here.
Where I am:
Now, on to my present. I live in a beautiful little minihome in the country. I have my own car (finally) and a great job. Monday to Friday, great hours, vacation, it's awesome. All of these things are wonderful, I am truly blessed to be able to buy my own car and pay all my student loans at age 22. I'm so lucky to live where I live, and have all the things and people in my life that I have. My biggest concern about my present, however, is that it has become a routine. There's no excitement, no spur-of-the-moment, no FUN. When you work every day, and have no friends to spend time with when you ARENT at work, you begin to feel very lonely. All of my friends are in the city, and I just feel like I need more. let me put it this way -- I work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Get home Friday, and James is on his way out the door to play cards and have drinks with the boys. So I pour a glass of wine, put on a movie, grab a blanket. He says he'll be home around midnight, and to wait up for him. I try to, but I fall asleep. I wake up Saturday morning and he's not home yet. He ended up having such a good time they decided to all go out. Im still home. Saturday comes around and it's time to get the groceries, run errands, clean the house, the usual thing. By the time everything is done on my to-do list, it's time for supper. We eat, watch a movie, maybe go for a walk or a drive, then it's evening. Sunday we usually just tour around. That's my week.
No friends to hang out with, they're all in the city. I know that James is here, but he has ALL of his best friends here in Antigonish. I only have him. I have TONNES of my friends in Halifax, but in order to live in the city, I'd have to leave my family and my job behind. I can't do that. They are too important to me. I NEED this job to pay for my car and my student loan.
I found an old journal today and started sifting through the pages and I realized just how much I've changed in the past 5 years. I'm not the same person at all. I used to live for my friends. I used to go out every Friday, Saturday, and even weekdays. Now I feel like Im alone, and Friday nights consist of sitting on the couch alone. I try to keep my mind occupied with other things, but I know the truth - this town is dead. It's BEAUTIFUL, and Im very thankful for have all the wonderful people and things that I have, but I know I want to live in Halifax. I want to move to the city and see everyone I care about. If I'm alone on Friday night, I want to know that there are 20 people who are just a call away. And I can just get up and go. Maybe I'm starting to feel like a 40 year old in a 22 year olds body. Maybe I feel like I have SO much life to live, but no place to live it, and no people to live it with. If anyone ever says, "I wonder if this is it?" needs to do some soul searching. Figure out what to do. Where to go. I need an action plan.
Im a loser.
To be continued..
Over the past couple of days, I have been thinking a lot about the places in my life I have been, the things Ive experienced, and where I will be 5, 10, 30 years down the road. I don't mean just little thought bubbles, I mean it's on my mind, all the time. When I'm at work, when I'm in the shower, when I'm trying to fall asleep at night..god, even when I'm watching TV.
I desperately need to make sense of these thoughts, so I can get a little sleep at night.
Where I have been:
When I think of my past, I mainly think of the people who I used to be so close with who have since moved away and I haven't spoken with in months. I miss a few certain people a lot. People who used to be a part of my life every single day are suddenly gone - mainly because I moved out of Halifax. All of James' best friends live here, but I often feel I have nobody. I know that I do have great friends, AMAZING friends.. but they're there, and I'm here.
Where I am:
Now, on to my present. I live in a beautiful little minihome in the country. I have my own car (finally) and a great job. Monday to Friday, great hours, vacation, it's awesome. All of these things are wonderful, I am truly blessed to be able to buy my own car and pay all my student loans at age 22. I'm so lucky to live where I live, and have all the things and people in my life that I have. My biggest concern about my present, however, is that it has become a routine. There's no excitement, no spur-of-the-moment, no FUN. When you work every day, and have no friends to spend time with when you ARENT at work, you begin to feel very lonely. All of my friends are in the city, and I just feel like I need more. let me put it this way -- I work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Get home Friday, and James is on his way out the door to play cards and have drinks with the boys. So I pour a glass of wine, put on a movie, grab a blanket. He says he'll be home around midnight, and to wait up for him. I try to, but I fall asleep. I wake up Saturday morning and he's not home yet. He ended up having such a good time they decided to all go out. Im still home. Saturday comes around and it's time to get the groceries, run errands, clean the house, the usual thing. By the time everything is done on my to-do list, it's time for supper. We eat, watch a movie, maybe go for a walk or a drive, then it's evening. Sunday we usually just tour around. That's my week.
No friends to hang out with, they're all in the city. I know that James is here, but he has ALL of his best friends here in Antigonish. I only have him. I have TONNES of my friends in Halifax, but in order to live in the city, I'd have to leave my family and my job behind. I can't do that. They are too important to me. I NEED this job to pay for my car and my student loan.
I found an old journal today and started sifting through the pages and I realized just how much I've changed in the past 5 years. I'm not the same person at all. I used to live for my friends. I used to go out every Friday, Saturday, and even weekdays. Now I feel like Im alone, and Friday nights consist of sitting on the couch alone. I try to keep my mind occupied with other things, but I know the truth - this town is dead. It's BEAUTIFUL, and Im very thankful for have all the wonderful people and things that I have, but I know I want to live in Halifax. I want to move to the city and see everyone I care about. If I'm alone on Friday night, I want to know that there are 20 people who are just a call away. And I can just get up and go. Maybe I'm starting to feel like a 40 year old in a 22 year olds body. Maybe I feel like I have SO much life to live, but no place to live it, and no people to live it with. If anyone ever says, "I wonder if this is it?" needs to do some soul searching. Figure out what to do. Where to go. I need an action plan.
Im a loser.
To be continued..
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